I'd like to publicly congratulate Phil's retarded newspaper for this retarded story on their retarded website.
They discovered the CBC's dirty secret; there are smoking rooms in the building. They also have incriminating video of the rooms!
Of course, the article even says several times that they are totally legal and there are many clearly labelled "smoking room" signs all over the building. But the Post's intrepid reporters call it a "smoking room sting."
Way to bust the CBC, Post! Your investigative journalism has us on the run!
You guys suck!
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Ice floes
StatsCan came out with their new report on seniors today. There are more old people, more internet-savvy, and claim to be healthy, but are fat.
In the interest of spicing it up, here's my working lead:
Canada's seniors are fatter and older than ever before, according to a new report from Statistics Canada. Since they're fat and old and no one loves them, they're spending more time looking for love online.
The CBC wholeheartedly endorses the bygone practice of placing seniors on ice floes and forcing them to fend for themselves.
Too controversial?
In the interest of spicing it up, here's my working lead:
Canada's seniors are fatter and older than ever before, according to a new report from Statistics Canada. Since they're fat and old and no one loves them, they're spending more time looking for love online.
The CBC wholeheartedly endorses the bygone practice of placing seniors on ice floes and forcing them to fend for themselves.
Too controversial?
Friday, February 23, 2007
Cloning, tits
I wrote some bigass piece about cloning yesterday, and not only did I get away with calling it "Send in the Clones," but I managed to fit in a reference to Dolly Parton's tits.
That's almost the Alves School of "fitting debatably relevant shit into your writing."
Plus, I got my name on it. My first official byline. Huzzah for me!
That's almost the Alves School of "fitting debatably relevant shit into your writing."
Plus, I got my name on it. My first official byline. Huzzah for me!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Lemony Snicket
is a bit of a smartass. I interviewed him this afternoon (well, I interviewed his "handler", Daniel Handler). He was ok but a bit....snarky? Anyway, horrible interview...I think he was chewing gum or eating a PBJ during the whole interview so I had to keep getting him to repeat stuff. Fun. My Q and A will be online...ummm...eventually, I guess.
Bluenotes-Who ordered this?
Anyone see the news about the shirt that BLuenotes is selling?
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070217.SHIRT17/TPStory
Nice......
http://www.empowerment4women.org/community/blogs/insidethebox/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/ceexport136430_61506.jpg
cut and paste the above into your address bar for the picture.
NOTE: this may already have been taken off shelves.....so...ummm...go back to yer lives, I guess.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070217.SHIRT17/TPStory
Nice......
http://www.empowerment4women.org/community/blogs/insidethebox/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/ceexport136430_61506.jpg
cut and paste the above into your address bar for the picture.
NOTE: this may already have been taken off shelves.....so...ummm...go back to yer lives, I guess.
Random...
It's been an odd couple of days. I spoke to Enza "Supermodel" Anderson yesterday and Mike Holmes today. Oh, and Olivia Chow and Glenn Clark, the Rock's head coach.
Can't wait to see who else pops up.
Can't wait to see who else pops up.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Bite your tongue
Okay, what do you even say to this?
For those of you not in the know, Princeton has announced it's going to shut down its ESP research facility. So, I figured it would be a fun an interesting piece. I just called a psychic here and she refused to talk to me. Here's the end of my conversation with this psychic:
Her: "How do I know you're from the CBC?"
Me: "..."
For those of you not in the know, Princeton has announced it's going to shut down its ESP research facility. So, I figured it would be a fun an interesting piece. I just called a psychic here and she refused to talk to me. Here's the end of my conversation with this psychic:
Her: "How do I know you're from the CBC?"
Me: "..."
Saturday, February 10, 2007
If your time is important to you, skip this
Hello all and welcome once again to the amazingly useless, time-eating, life-deadening words of another Phil post.
Too melodramatic? Sorry. I have this flu, see, and it's living in my neck. In my throat, actually, and I think it's taken to throwing darts at the once mushy pink walls - now inflamed fire-engine red walls - of its new home. Little bugger.
It's hard to be positive when your nights are filled with thoughts of ripping your own windpipe out with your bare hands just for some relief and hopefully the onset of sleep. The days are filled with thoughts of the sleep I ain't getting at night.
But I digress. It's my flu to kill, and I think I'm going about it the right way - I'm soothing it to sleep with tea, then hoping the penicillin makes it's way to my neck and does the dirty work, bashing that fucker's head in with something blunt and heavy that says "Medical Miracle At Work, Bitch!"
Oh, and the Post is good.
Too melodramatic? Sorry. I have this flu, see, and it's living in my neck. In my throat, actually, and I think it's taken to throwing darts at the once mushy pink walls - now inflamed fire-engine red walls - of its new home. Little bugger.
It's hard to be positive when your nights are filled with thoughts of ripping your own windpipe out with your bare hands just for some relief and hopefully the onset of sleep. The days are filled with thoughts of the sleep I ain't getting at night.
But I digress. It's my flu to kill, and I think I'm going about it the right way - I'm soothing it to sleep with tea, then hoping the penicillin makes it's way to my neck and does the dirty work, bashing that fucker's head in with something blunt and heavy that says "Medical Miracle At Work, Bitch!"
Oh, and the Post is good.
Thursday, February 8, 2007
Wednesday, February 7, 2007
Job offers and sex
Yeah, I'd really appreciate it if we got sent job offers AFTER the placement is over. Plus, there's been a few and they're all communications, not journalism of course (not that there's anything wrong with that ) But I wonder if Lindy feels bad sending us all these cc jobs when she's in charge of teaching journalism, a profession that seems to be going the way of the dinosaur. ANYWAYS, on another topic entirely, well, almost, you should all check out Eye's Love and Sex Guide that comes out this Thursday. If all goes well, I'll have two short articles in there-one about a church-going escort, the other a tribute to a stripclub. no joke.
UPDATE
We don't fail...we get an A.
BTW, where is Josh? Apparently he scored a government job recently. Am I out of the loop?
BTW, where is Josh? Apparently he scored a government job recently. Am I out of the loop?
Why does she do that?!?!?
Everyone see the recent job posting for PR at the Cdn Cancer Society? With the crazy salary attached to it?! I feel tempted to go back to the administrative dark side and work in PR! I love this magazine but it so hard to break into a magazine job and the pay...well, it won't be pushing $50,000, that's for sure!
Anyway, does anyone know if we officially FAIL the internship if we get a journalistic/PR job and have to leave the placement?
Just wondering....and dreaming of the trips I could take with a $50,000 job.
Anyway, does anyone know if we officially FAIL the internship if we get a journalistic/PR job and have to leave the placement?
Just wondering....and dreaming of the trips I could take with a $50,000 job.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
Groundhog
Here's some fascinating Groundhog Day history for you all:
The newest Wiarton Willie died last summer, concluding a violent time in office. This same Willy killed two of his would-be sucessors in 2003.
The town of Wiarton held an absolutely retarded memorial service, which included a song written, approriately enough, by someone with the unfortunate name of Sheila Balls.
The previous Willie kicked the bucket in 1999, two days before Groundhog Day. So what did the resourceful residents of Wiarton do? In a moment of Weekend At Bernie's-ish ghoulishness, they trotted out his casket and opened it up to see if his shadow was visible. Then, adding to the country-fried hick foolishness of it all, it later turned out that the corpse was a fake; the real Willie was too decomposed to make a public appearance.
Who knew this day had so much salacious history to it?
The newest Wiarton Willie died last summer, concluding a violent time in office. This same Willy killed two of his would-be sucessors in 2003.
The town of Wiarton held an absolutely retarded memorial service, which included a song written, approriately enough, by someone with the unfortunate name of Sheila Balls.
The previous Willie kicked the bucket in 1999, two days before Groundhog Day. So what did the resourceful residents of Wiarton do? In a moment of Weekend At Bernie's-ish ghoulishness, they trotted out his casket and opened it up to see if his shadow was visible. Then, adding to the country-fried hick foolishness of it all, it later turned out that the corpse was a fake; the real Willie was too decomposed to make a public appearance.
Who knew this day had so much salacious history to it?
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