I'm sorry Mr. Alves... your blog is dead

I doubt anyone checks this anymore (Ellin?). Everyone's too busy on fukkin' Facebook.

It was fun while it lasted!

Shoulda done this a while ago...

For those of you who may still look at this blog from time to time but not at the dreaded scourge that is Facebook, here's a Centennial treat.

Hello?

It's been a couple of months. This blog feels cold.

Are you still looking for a job

Sorry. I don't have one to offer but apparently I've been sleeping. Who has jobs and who is still looking?

I don't have anything yet (and only one interview in the last two weeks...grrr..).

Am I alone here?

First post in May!

YESSSSS! With all the people writing on here, I'm the first to post this month! What do I win Phil?

Well, I'm working the graveyard shift tonight and it's a slow one. Can somebody go burn something down or do something crazy and generate some news?

Thanks in advance.

Blogs are out of style

So I guess nobody posts on this thing anymore. Now that I'm back at work, I need procrastination material, so here I am.

Come on, people. What are you, applying for jobs or something? Give up. There's nothing out there.

Plagiarism, you sons of bitches!

Recently, I wrote a piece about hiccups. I thought it would be a fun way to dispell all the serious shite on the CBC's site, and there was a hiccup story in the news, so it was timely.

It's here if anyone's actually interested:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/health/hiccups.html

Anyhoo, a couple of days later, a friend of mine is listening to 99.1 FM, which did some hilarious thing about hiccups, cures etc and, according to her, you could tell a bunch of their stuff was stolen from my piece.

Where are my royalties, you fuckers?

Almost done!

Hey all,

I'm starting to freak out!

Looking for a full-time PAYING job is super stressfull...and our internships are almost done!!! How is everyone else doing on their end?

By the way, are any of you taking grad photos??

Keep in touch!

Maxine

CBC on the run

Following up last week's exposure of the CBC as an immoral and arrogant institution that thinks it's above the law, here's a nice little video clip. It's from The Hour and George Stroumbolopoulopolopoulous has all the dirt. It's kinda funny. Take a look:

http://www.cbc.ca/thehour/video.php?id=1431

National Post 1, CBC 0

I'd like to publicly congratulate Phil's retarded newspaper for this retarded story on their retarded website.

They discovered the CBC's dirty secret; there are smoking rooms in the building. They also have incriminating video of the rooms!

Of course, the article even says several times that they are totally legal and there are many clearly labelled "smoking room" signs all over the building. But the Post's intrepid reporters call it a "smoking room sting."

Way to bust the CBC, Post! Your investigative journalism has us on the run!

You guys suck!

Ice floes

StatsCan came out with their new report on seniors today. There are more old people, more internet-savvy, and claim to be healthy, but are fat.

In the interest of spicing it up, here's my working lead:


Canada's seniors are fatter and older than ever before, according to a new report from Statistics Canada. Since they're fat and old and no one loves them, they're spending more time looking for love online.

The CBC wholeheartedly endorses the bygone practice of placing seniors on ice floes and forcing them to fend for themselves.


Too controversial?

Cloning, tits

I wrote some bigass piece about cloning yesterday, and not only did I get away with calling it "Send in the Clones," but I managed to fit in a reference to Dolly Parton's tits.

That's almost the Alves School of "fitting debatably relevant shit into your writing."

Plus, I got my name on it. My first official byline. Huzzah for me!

Lemony Snicket

is a bit of a smartass. I interviewed him this afternoon (well, I interviewed his "handler", Daniel Handler). He was ok but a bit....snarky? Anyway, horrible interview...I think he was chewing gum or eating a PBJ during the whole interview so I had to keep getting him to repeat stuff. Fun. My Q and A will be online...ummm...eventually, I guess.

Bluenotes-Who ordered this?

Anyone see the news about the shirt that BLuenotes is selling?

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20070217.SHIRT17/TPStory

Nice......

http://www.empowerment4women.org/community/blogs/insidethebox/wp-content/uploads/2007/02/ceexport136430_61506.jpg

cut and paste the above into your address bar for the picture.

NOTE: this may already have been taken off shelves.....so...ummm...go back to yer lives, I guess.

Random...

It's been an odd couple of days. I spoke to Enza "Supermodel" Anderson yesterday and Mike Holmes today. Oh, and Olivia Chow and Glenn Clark, the Rock's head coach.

Can't wait to see who else pops up.

Bite your tongue

Okay, what do you even say to this?

For those of you not in the know, Princeton has announced it's going to shut down its ESP research facility. So, I figured it would be a fun an interesting piece. I just called a psychic here and she refused to talk to me. Here's the end of my conversation with this psychic:

Her: "How do I know you're from the CBC?"
Me: "..."

If your time is important to you, skip this

Hello all and welcome once again to the amazingly useless, time-eating, life-deadening words of another Phil post.

Too melodramatic? Sorry. I have this flu, see, and it's living in my neck. In my throat, actually, and I think it's taken to throwing darts at the once mushy pink walls - now inflamed fire-engine red walls - of its new home. Little bugger.

It's hard to be positive when your nights are filled with thoughts of ripping your own windpipe out with your bare hands just for some relief and hopefully the onset of sleep. The days are filled with thoughts of the sleep I ain't getting at night.

But I digress. It's my flu to kill, and I think I'm going about it the right way - I'm soothing it to sleep with tea, then hoping the penicillin makes it's way to my neck and does the dirty work, bashing that fucker's head in with something blunt and heavy that says "Medical Miracle At Work, Bitch!"

Oh, and the Post is good.

Who's this guy with all the hair?

hahahaha

http://www.writersunion.ca/b/barris_t.htm

Job offers and sex

Yeah, I'd really appreciate it if we got sent job offers AFTER the placement is over. Plus, there's been a few and they're all communications, not journalism of course (not that there's anything wrong with that ) But I wonder if Lindy feels bad sending us all these cc jobs when she's in charge of teaching journalism, a profession that seems to be going the way of the dinosaur. ANYWAYS, on another topic entirely, well, almost, you should all check out Eye's Love and Sex Guide that comes out this Thursday. If all goes well, I'll have two short articles in there-one about a church-going escort, the other a tribute to a stripclub. no joke.

UPDATE

We don't fail...we get an A.

BTW, where is Josh? Apparently he scored a government job recently. Am I out of the loop?

Why does she do that?!?!?

Everyone see the recent job posting for PR at the Cdn Cancer Society? With the crazy salary attached to it?! I feel tempted to go back to the administrative dark side and work in PR! I love this magazine but it so hard to break into a magazine job and the pay...well, it won't be pushing $50,000, that's for sure!

Anyway, does anyone know if we officially FAIL the internship if we get a journalistic/PR job and have to leave the placement?

Just wondering....and dreaming of the trips I could take with a $50,000 job.

Groundhog

Here's some fascinating Groundhog Day history for you all:

The newest Wiarton Willie died last summer, concluding a violent time in office. This same Willy killed two of his would-be sucessors in 2003.

The town of Wiarton held an absolutely retarded memorial service, which included a song written, approriately enough, by someone with the unfortunate name of Sheila Balls.

The previous Willie kicked the bucket in 1999, two days before Groundhog Day. So what did the resourceful residents of Wiarton do? In a moment of Weekend At Bernie's-ish ghoulishness, they trotted out his casket and opened it up to see if his shadow was visible. Then, adding to the country-fried hick foolishness of it all, it later turned out that the corpse was a fake; the real Willie was too decomposed to make a public appearance.

Who knew this day had so much salacious history to it?

Ideas? Who needs 'em?

I just got out of an editorial meeting (my first) and I'm not sure what to make of it. During the story idea shootaround, only 5 of us had anything to contribute (out of 25). I had had two, so I made everyone look bad, including the RYERSON intern (take that!).

So is it really not that important to have story ideas? Or, maybe once you have a job, you don't need to impress anyone anymore and can just ride my coattails.

Well, at least it was better than listening to a pitch by Andrei or David Anderson.

Add snappy title here

Why the heck can't I get sick during a job I DON'T want!?!?! I'm stuck at home b/c they don't like me coming in and yakking in the wastebins. Touchy people!!!

Anyway, work has been great. I've been busy every day and had some fun outings to Dominion and such picking up stuff for photoshoots. I got to talk to Jeanne Bekker on Monday. I know it's no Uma, but not all of us get to be hot-shots....I think we all know who I'm talking about.

Seriously, though, how cool is getting sent to New York?

Has anyone heard from Erin Goodman? Has she disappeared off the face of the earth?

I'm not getting paid but I am getting lots of free stuff. Books, makeup, skin creams. One of the magazines on my floor is always giving this stuff away. And they INSISTED I take some of it. When someone waves $200 of skin cream at me, I have to take it, don't I?

It's amazing to see my ideas make it into the magazine. Most are just product ideas but I get to pick some of the books and toys to review. They seem to like me. Too bad they're too broke to hire me! I keep hoping that they'll find me indispensible and keep me on.

Anyway, nothing too exciting. Just wanted to get my voice in there.

George Strombo-who? part deux

My floor is where the do a lot of tv tapings. I see a lot of Petey Mansbridge, Heather Hiscox, other TV people. I saw Rick Mercer last week.

Yesterday I saw some guy walking around this floor dressed all in black, one of those studded belts, long-ass wallet chain, big sideburns.

Calm down Ellin; it wasn't Strombo. Who is this idiot? He couldn’t possibly be trying any harder to be Strombo, but it was just sad. Real subtle, guy.

I could slap on a CNN golf shirt, hitch up my pants and screw up everything I touch, but no matter how much I look like Steve Cogan, I won't be him.

there's no such thing as 'too cynical'. right?

i just got told by my editor that what i wrote was 'too cynical'. take that neil ward! tellin' me i'm not cynical enough..grumble grumble..i can be damn cynical. apparently even while writing a fish n' chip restaurant review . sigh. it's more a curse than a gift, really.

Fact of the day

Wow, did you know 66,500 children went missing in Canada last year?

Stupid kids.

Deep fried balls

I love it when editor's either miss stuff or just let it slide. I got this line printed in today's paper:

"In a time when Britannia ruled the waves and Charlotte was queen, balls were held across the Canadas..."

I've never been more proud.

That french fry thing is in today's, too. Chip trucks ahoy: Which one?

Cheers all!

... it pours

Holy Christ, I'm hung over.

When it rains...

So I'm starting to get stuff piled on me, which is cool. At least I'm keeping busy. But then today I get handed an obit to write. Only obit I ever wrote was in Ted's class way back when with the whale-stuffing animal lover. Calling the widow was a bit daunting.

But then I skipped out of the newsroom early to hit the observatory at York and T and T Supermarket.

Oh, and another intern started this week and I've already pawned off work to him. I'm no longer the bottom feeder. The coup has begun! Vive le revolucion! Or some such propagandistic rhetoric.

George Strombo-who?

Thanks George, but I can't pass on your regards; they've already fired his ass to make room for me. They're giving that charlatan until the end of the month, then it's all me, baby!

They offered me the National first, but I decided it was too dull, so I let Petey Mansbridge keep his job, provided he fetches me timbits.

ho hum

hey guys, thanks for the black history help. unfortunately, I may be losing my sidebar assignment because the original story it was for fell through and now the guy who was writing that will probably be writing an entire story concerning my sidebar topic. ah well. george, it sounds like yer having lots of fun! i can't wait to read your gonzoization of the steven segal skin cream press conferance. that's gold! the highlight of my day was getting to leave early cuz there was nothing to do. yay! phil i have an assignment similar to what it seems like you've been doing. i get to review 'chippy's' some rock n' roll fish n' chip place on queen west. but here's the kicker: it has to be a positive review, because it's for part of our readers poll and they voted chippy's 'best takeout'. all i can say is it better be good. livia, maybe you could interview steven harper? then you could ask him why he wants to ruin this country for his kids, or if he wants to send them to the middle east. hehe good times. keep up the good work guys!

Of blogs and internships

Howdy all.

As you can see, I changed the look of this thing. The other one was a bit hard to read.

And I suppose I should fill you in on what I've been up to. I've had two bylines so far. This first was a bunch of concert listings. Not overly stimulating stuff, but that was my job on my first day:
Hear Ye, Hear Ye: Concerts in '07

The second was just a list of upcoming events:
T.O. Do

I've done some streeters looking for tourists - it's surprisingly hard to discern exactly who a tourist is in this city. Just ask the group of Filipino ladies taking photos of Union Station and the CN Tower I mistakenly approached.

I also compared the three chip trucks in front of Nathan Phillips Square and picked a winner. Stay tuned for that story!

On Monday I visited the Toronto Police Museum and Steam Whistle Brewery for another tourist piece, and I have a list of six other places to visit.

And then yesterday I got handed three assignments for FP Weekend. Which reminds me, do any of you know hockey parents with a kid playing rep hockey outside of Ontario?

I'm really happy to see people using this new-fangled Internet doohickey. It's good to see what people are up to.

Cheers.

Maybe you can help me?

Two quick things:

Do you know a famous Canadian (preferable popular) who has kids? I may need a backup interview in case the Giller winner can't be reached until the next issue.

Also, do you know of any cool new thing that a pregnant mom just HAS to have? Any cool ideas?

Ok, that's it. If you can help out I'd appreciate it but if you can't, no biggie.

I must be bored

So I did a quick search for Toronto Black History stuff:

http://www.blackhistorysociety.ca/Braithwaite_Public.htm

"Born on October 23, 1923 to West Indian parents in Toronto, in 1963, he became the first Black Canadian to be elected to a provincial legislature in Canada."

http://www.blackhistorysociety.ca/KevinJunor.pdf

Has a bunch of speaking engagements this month. Torontonian. More but I can't cut and paste and I'm lazy.

http://www.blackhistorysociety.ca/

The above link is where I found all the info. Also had this:

"The Necropolis Cemetery is located in Cabbagetown, downtown Toronto. It is the final resting place of Lucie and Thornton Blackburn. They were former slaves from Kentucky who escaped to Canada via the Underground Railroad. They are credited for setting up the first taxi service in Toronto named The City. Also buried at Necropolis is Anderson Ruffin Abbot, the first Canadian-born black surgeon. So is Corporal Ainsworth Dyer, whose life was cut short by American pilots during a so called "friendly fire" incident in Afghanistan on April 18, 2002 "

Other links with info:

http://www.tgmag.ca/magic/mt40.html
http://billgenova.tripod.com/genovatours/id98.html (this is a black history tour in TO)
http://fcis.oise.utoronto.ca/~gpieters/blklinks.html
http://www.nowtoronto.com/issues/2006-02-23/news_story.php

Obviously some of these will need backing but they might be a good start.

news about no news and nothing: the update

heya dudes. glad to hear some people are actually writing stories n' stuff at their internships. good job guys! i'm seriously jealous of you all. things are ok at the eye offices, if a little slow. i fact check a lot, but (of course) it's much different than susan mclelland's version. i use google mostly. mostly. i've been working on a sidebar (whoo!) for a black history story that i did not write for next issue. so if any of you know some interesting and lesser known black history facts specifically related to toronto, feel free to let me know. sorry for the lack of enthusiasm folks, not that you were expecting any different, i'm probably just tired from doing nothing all day. so, as i sit here at my desk i'm hoping that things will pick up soon. if not, well, there's only 14.5 weeks to go! let the countdown begin :)

Wow, it worked

Hi all,

Or Few. How many people are using this thing anyway?

Anybody got any story ideas? It's a very slow news day.

I'm on week 4 of the placement; I'll be done in no time. Then it's a real job! (which probably only plays slightly more than the $0 I make right now!)

Here's a bit of what I've been up to:

An interactive world conflict map and there's a link to an interview I did with some global security expert:

http://www.cbc.ca/news/interactives/gmaps/world-conflicts/

http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/world-conflicts/

Or, for something more light-hearted (but still educational):
http://www.cbc.ca/news/background/forcesofnature/winter-solstice.html

For you sports fans, here's a piece on the ridiculous history of Montreal's Olympic Stadium:
http://www.cbc.ca/news/interactives/who-olympic-stadium/

Unfortunately, I get no bylines for any of this crap. Just take my word for it that I wrote them.

Let's see more posts here. Aside from Phil getting drunk and eating fries, what sort of assignments are you all doing?

Steve (not Cogan)

Crossing my fingers & toes & hoping this post works!

Hi all,

So I'm jumping on the bandwagon chez Liv after her "get on it" email. yikes! lol...

As for me, I haven't really been up to much lately...still working on stuff for upcoming issues of Collision Repair, Bodyworx magazine, and the training directory and also doing my thing at Glow.

So my first story was published both in print and online for Collision Repair. This is a story I wrote a couple months ago while we were still in school on waterborne paints (which is a new form of paint that will be used all throughout Canada within the next couple of years). Exciting, huh? If you want to check out the link for the online story, visit http://collisionrepairmagazine.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=38&Itemid=9

That's about it!

By the way, good luck with your Giller interview Liv, and to the rest of you, START BLOGGING! :)

Maxine :)

Sneezing up a storm

Sick today so I'm working from home. Researching what the hip pregnant woman is doing/buying/dreaming about. Did you know they make soothers with bling? Of course you did!

Anyway, part of the reason I'm posting is because THAT'S WHAT WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING!! It's Tuesday! Surely someone has something to add!!

Has anyone heard from Goodman? What's she doing?

I want pics of the mysterious lady in Phil's life and Wall (wall? Is that a nickname? Am I out of the loop?)

Livia

Ha! It worked!

Ok, so, while I LOVE my placement I have had nothing but problems with the equipment. Picture calling all over the world, trying to reach media people for bicycle makers (not as exciting as alpacas, I know) and having to make those calls sitting on the floor with the phone and your notes resting on a cardboard box. It's been two days and many, many requests for a phone....I'm going in early on Monday to make some calls with dignity at a coworker's desk.

Other than that (and a keyboard that didn't have a workiong spacebar) it's a great spot.

Off to the Madison, I think. Have a good weekend.

Livia

Welcome!

OK, I literally just set this up and don't know this all works for a group, but it should be easy to figure it out.

If there's something you get stuck on, e-mail me and I'll try to figure it out.

That said, post away!

Phil